The Big Injury on the Scooter's
Last week Friday I had a very bad injury on the scooter when I was just riding on the deck just watching Tim and Kohuru because they were in my way so I slowed down. While I was slowing down, I must've hit a rock that made the scooter stop instantly. I went face first down onto the concrete and I had chipped and cracked my two adult teeth so we were in a rush to get up and go to the office and then as I had got into the office Aunt Sue was in the office, Aunt Sue said "harden up get up" but then Miss Simeon "said Wow what happened" and I said that "I had fallen off the scooter" so they had no option but to call mum and dad to come and pick me up and to take me to the doctor’s for a check-up. Straight after that, we had to rush around to the west school to see where the dental clinic but we couldn't find it because there was no dentist open that day only the greenfield place so we rushed there because my nerves had been exposed so it was very sore for me to open my mouth. I didn't get to see the dentist until 4:00PM and we went to the dentist at 11:00AM so we went up to the bank and waited for dad to finish off his meeting with the council so after mum had been at the bank we went for a walk downtown to have a look at the shops but then I had to go to the dentist. When my mum and I got to the dentist we went straight into the dentist room I had to sit on the seat for the dentist people to put some glue on my teeth to stop my nerve from being so sore and so that I could eat and drink some water so that I wasn't dehydrated.
Last week Friday I had a very bad injury on the scooter when I was just riding on the deck just watching Tim and Kohuru because they were in my way so I slowed down. While I was slowing down, I must've hit a rock that made the scooter stop instantly. I went face first down onto the concrete and I had chipped and cracked my two adult teeth so we were in a rush to get up and go to the office and then as I had got into the office Aunt Sue was in the office, Aunt Sue said "harden up get up" but then Miss Simeon "said Wow what happened" and I said that "I had fallen off the scooter" so they had no option but to call mum and dad to come and pick me up and to take me to the doctor’s for a check-up. Straight after that, we had to rush around to the west school to see where the dental clinic but we couldn't find it because there was no dentist open that day only the greenfield place so we rushed there because my nerves had been exposed so it was very sore for me to open my mouth. I didn't get to see the dentist until 4:00PM and we went to the dentist at 11:00AM so we went up to the bank and waited for dad to finish off his meeting with the council so after mum had been at the bank we went for a walk downtown to have a look at the shops but then I had to go to the dentist. When my mum and I got to the dentist we went straight into the dentist room I had to sit on the seat for the dentist people to put some glue on my teeth to stop my nerve from being so sore and so that I could eat and drink some water so that I wasn't dehydrated.
List 3 things that you think you did well in this text. (not punctuation or capital letters or spelling)
|
1 I think that i have done well in elaborating some words
|
2 I think that my work has got proper spelling
|
3 I think that the writing that i have done was very good
|
What do you need to work on to improve your writing?
|
I need to elaborate more in my writing.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.